


The Renaissance Vulcan

by Gadeshua (KerryLamb)



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 17:02:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5878648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KerryLamb/pseuds/Gadeshua
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock as we all know is a romantic at heart though his teachings of Surak hold his emotions physically at bay. So what's a half human Vulcan to do with all those feels? Write moody, emo ( albeit Vulcan emo) poetry, of course.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Every now and then I write poems and I thought it would be fun to have it from Spock POV. Most of them are about Ny, others are more general. I'm going to do each poem as a chapter.

_ There a few times that words escape me, that I find myself speechless because the lexicon of our times has yet to advance and be able to encapsulate how I feel when I think of you. And how I do think of you, Nyota Uhura. Often times when I’m swept up in an emotion, whether negative or positive. I need my logic to buoy my mind in the surging sea of what am I as a Vulcan male and safeguard my actions. In my effort to shield others or more aptly you, you drown me, Nyota.  _

 

_ Just as I found myself a safe harbor here in Starfleet, you came and engulfed me like a squall. There was no circumventing you because I could not or even more frightening would not fight the undertow of my attraction towards you. _

 

_ I welcomed every sight, delighted in every sound, reveled in every scent and savored each touch whether accidental or intentional. In a world of wonder, so alien from my own home world I find you to be a perfect blend familiar and exotic. Shamefully so.   _

  
  



	2. the measure of value

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How can you weigh the value of something intangible?

__

How can this exchange of emotional currency take place,

when there are no immediate scales or meters to measure or define them?

How should one gauge the value of happiness for a Human versus a Bajoran

when neither can experience the others’ joy by any tactical means like a Vulcan?

Stories or poetry? Paintings or movies? Each of them composed 

in hopes of becoming a poignant legal tender for emotions but all 

fall short of actualized. They only had meaning because one decided

to assign it but what are the arts really worth if not bartered along

_ with an intention to make one’s own emotions validated in the viewer’s heart? _


	3. Jaded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A poem about a Trill.

She lies alone in bed, tracing the spots on her arms with her eyes as she traces the lovers staining her recollection.

There is one that stands out, a mar on her heart that she can never  discount or recapture. 

It was beautiful love they had two lifetimes ago, like none she had ever experienced in her unjoined life

but when the opportunity to seize it back presents itself she is wounded by taboo. 

It scars her face in the shape of a frown and its renowned beauty is lost. 

She rises and watches the flitter from the window leaving to some destination before stepping on the sill

and following after it without anything to catch her but the hope of another chance in another life.


	4. Burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A plak tow poem

I would say it’s better to not know one will go mad. 

The fear of it knowingly coming for your sanity leaves you with a different craze; paranoia

and I found mine compounded when I felt myself burn for you. 

 

It wasn’t enough to want you, nor even enough to call you my own, I  _ had _ to possess  _ you _ . 

Cover every inch of who and what you are with who and what I am so you can only find yourself when you look to me. 

 

Your bondage to me condemns you to weather my derangement; that you willingly did once

and would do so again makes my sanguine body all the more feverish.

 

Maybe  _ you  _ are the reason that I lose all logic?

Maybe  _ your _ existence is too much for my mind to bear for seven standard years, maybe you are

some delightful figment concocted during my brush with death. 

It’s only when I hold you down and sink into you I know you to be real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please be kind and review


	5. If it weren’t for your_______, Nyota then...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excuses, excuses, excuses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should be doing something else, cleaning, cooking, going to the gym but I can't be responsible right now so you have me all to yourself. Let me know what you think of my ramblings, a few reviews here a kudo or two there. Pray for me.

Where others would see weakness and flaws I see reasons to talk to you.

Small excuses for me to come over to your station and lean over your chair,

smell your hair and look into your eyes as I mumble something about the glitches

I found in your console mainframe this morning.

 

Your inability to stay standing when we brush a few clicks past an anomaly allows me to help you

to your feet, hold your cool hands and brace your back as you gain your balance unscrutinized by the rest of the bridge. 

As I am closer to your station and can simply hurry over to do so, it is only logical that I should bear this burden.

And what good would it do me to help you up and not check for an injury, perhaps somewhere along your ankle

when you fall or your backside as you landed? Yes, we do not need to have you manning your post if you cannot perform your duties admirably?

 

I find your reports during debriefing after an away mission to be lacking in detail, so I take it upon myself 

to gather more information on the social  complexities of the latest alien species we have encounter

even if it takes all of your time off duty to do so, logging every single moment away in my mind for

recollection later while I’m busy at work.

 

Yes, flaws are a natural occurrence in the nature and I reason that the best way of dealing with yours is to handle them gently, thoroughly and regularly.


	6. Verity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Truth is the foundation of logic but not of the heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xoxo readers

Understanding a fact does not mean accepting it.

There are many facts I understand about myself and one thousand eight hundred fifty three about her.

The most blatant ones claw at my conscious whenever I see Nyota.

Fact: You are a Cadet. I am a Commander.

Fact: You are human. I am a human and Vulcan living my life solely as the latter.

Fact: You are attracted to me, emotionally, physically, sexually. I am mutually affected.

Fact: Crossing the line from professional to personal in our relationship would mean consequences both known and unforeseen.

 

Fact: We have not let these or any other facts stand in our way.


	7. Duet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's about music but not really.

As I played my lute and she wove her song that evening, 

the lyrics took on new meaning, the music a different scale 

and our duet, another layer. 

Before the night was through I composed a new song, and 

I listened to her practice, in awe of her range and memorized 

as she followed me to the end with such high, lilting notes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guessed it! it's about sex


	8. Base

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deflowering, the lose of my good and the knowledge of your evil.

This time I am slow, gentle hands and soft words,

As with everything I do, this act thorough,

my intentions clearly defined and outlined.

Despite this you still shiver and shake, looking

as the doe does in the jaws of the wolf.

Docile, excited but fearful as the other fair sexed creatures

have been before her. 

I tear her apart from innocent to knowing,

and her body imbues the sheets tearfully in her newfound knowledge.

So much of this rite is sanguinary and I feel your pain as I hold you

during this transition  but there, in that place where my face has fallen inside the shadow of your hair, 

I find my power of ascendancy over you to be quite agreeable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for now. I hope you all enjoyed. Now I'm going to escape myself.


End file.
